Sleeping Valor

Downloaded your story, look forward to a critique as soon as I get through it! (*looks at number of pages* o_O Which may take a while) ^_^

I'll have to...agree with the others, you need to flesh up your story. I get the impression this isn't all there is, or maybe I just can't see the relation ...

The clock strikes midnight, and he doesn’t seem to care or notice. Unless it prompted him to do what he did next. I've read this through part way and noticed ...

Excerpt: Apparently, the man who said ‘you are what you choose to be’ was a liar. A really horrible liar who took joy in making innocent little children believe that ...

=P The question has been asked, but I didn't see the answer. If you are posting your story is parts (chapters), does each one need to be 5,000 words, or ...

Thanks again guys. Hopefully chapter two will meet expectations. =P

lol. So I just saw the bulleting thingy you put on, no clue how you did it though. =P But as requested, here I am! I'm going to leave the ...

I'm glad it surprised you, that was the idea. She herself was shocked when she realized she'd done it. I was trying to illustrate just how much Yazra's "villany" isn't ...

IC Keith swore and went over to help get the other person stuck in the passenger's seat out. They were laughing hysterically and he realized they must have lost it. ...

^_^ Since you've been reading mine I thought I'd read yours. Comments on the overall story are at the end. In a valley that only the gifted could see was ...

Thanks Jabber! I'll work on my tags (*is not used to using them much*) and I don't actually know how to use the log dash but word does let me ...

lol. Yes, the bear is kinda random, for the moment. But he is all part of the final nudges that push Yazra over and beyond the limits of her ability ...

=P Well if you really liked it might I recommend reading the complete chapter? There's at link at the top of the thread (or in my signature).

She fold ed her arms closely across her chest, shivers running down her spine. Teeth chattering, she slowly walked down the hallway, her green dress brushing gently across her ankles ...

^_^ I've made the corrections to the story. If anyone sees any others let me know. (Also, comments on Yazra's personality itself would be cool. I'm especially wondering if she ...